Sunday, October 16, 2005

You Might Be a Redneck If.....


You go to your first NASCAR race and absolutely love it! Yes folks, I just got back from Charlotte where I attended the UAW-GM Quality 500. I am out of the closet...I love the NASCAR. Picture this:
  • Packing enough food and beer to fill 4, yes 4 SUVs.
  • Partying with people you've never met, but who you now share a bond with
  • Drinking more Jell-O Shots in one day than you have EVER had before....and living to tell about it (we started out with 250, of which I think I drank at least 20....OUCH)
This was my first NASCAR experience. We aimed to leave the house at 1:30, which ended up being about 3:00 (and Elaine and Jacquie weren't even there)! We were moving along but got stuck in race traffic and were barely moving. One of our crew jumps out of SUV #2 to hit the woods to relieve himself. Needless to say, this is the precise moment that traffic starts moving...and moving quickly. This poor boy, decked out in VA Tech gear (guess he thought they were playing in Charlotte this weekend) ends up running about 1.5 miles in flip flops to catch up to us. Sucked to be him.

We parked the cars, set up the table, the canopy the food and let's not forget the Jell-O. Lord have mercy.

After tailgating for a bit, we load up smaller coolers and head to the track. How awesome is NASCAR? You can take your coolers full of beer, food and Jell-O shots inside. (The NFL should take a lesson from this.) We find our seats and plant ourselves. Now let me just talk about the seating arrangements for a second. You know how baseball and football stadiums are a little roomy and you're not really sitting on top of the person beside you? No such luck here. We were packed tighter than a can of sardines. To top it off, I was sitting between two not so small men. oy. If you've ever been to a Penn State game, I can liken it to Beaver Stadium, only worse. Its THAT bad. Needless to say, the beer was flowing and the shots were constantly handed out (if I had to hear, "hey rookie, what color do you want?" one more time.....)

I definitely fit right in as I was sporting the red and black of my favorite driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. True to this season, he wrecked quite early (still lasted longer than Jeff Gordon). After Jr blew out his tire, I decided to cheer on VA Boy and driver of the M&M car, Elliott Sadler...who wrecked...then it was Tony Stewart...who wrecked, followed by Kasey Kahne, who wrecked (are you getting the picture here?) If I had been anywhere close to sober and picked up on the pattern, I would have started cheering for Jimmie Johnson who I am NOT a fan of, but eventually won. ugh.

All in all, I had a great time. Even met up with my new boy which was awesome. Nothing like having your first kiss at Lowe's Motor Speedway. Now there's a story for the grandkids. Damn alcohol.

I'd highly recommend going to a race...even if you don't like it, the party is definitely worth it!

23 Comments:

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Kayla said...

You make me so proud!!
*sniff* *sniff* (me, wiping tears from eyes)

I hate to say that it sounds like it was fun and I loathe Nascar. (but do appreciate the fact that you didn't mention the skins losing yesterday and your boys winning)... Shit, now I mentioned it.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

That, there, is a naz car. Sounds like fun. I almost want to watch a race. I've never even seen part of one on TV.

Jello shots, though... What color did you pick, rookie?

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger MMH said...

Let's see, I drank orange, red and green. Stayed away from the yellow. I'm sure there was some logic involved in that decision.

Oh, and Kayla, the Skins lost. (But Santana had 2 TDs and helped my fantasy team to yet another win.)

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger ESC said...

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At 12:13 PM, Blogger ESC said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger ESC said...

MMH, I’m glad you had an awesome time at NASCAR. I still don’t see the fun in watching cars go around the racetrack though. My company is the sponsor of NASCAR Nextel Cup Series and I can only get tickets to certain races at an employee discount but do I want to go to a NASCAR race…NO. I don’t think I would fit in anyway…I’m such a snob that way…I can be such a CHAP.

The Skins/Chiefs game was pretty good and I dislike the Skins, but I also have Santana Moss on my fantasy football team also. Santana Moss (Skins) and Priest Holmes (Chiefs) scored a lot of points for me, but I still lost the game…urghhh!

BTW, I was at the Clarendon Grille Saturday night and a cute guy who accused me of almost stepping on his toes. I don’t recall if he was wearing sandals or the mandels, but I told him the story about how I went going off on the old man who stepped on my toes in New Orleans at Jazz fest…“you mother f****** a**hole!!!” The guy at the Grille was shocked that would have come out of a small person’s mouth. I told he’d better not step on my toes or he’d get the wrath of ESC.

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger MMH said...

ESC -

I would never make the mistake of stepping on your feet after the Jazz Fest incident. Who knew you could get that loud??

I think the GWD should all go to a race. How fun!!!

 
At 2:03 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

lest the Girls With Drinks become Nascar Gals Wit Dranks...

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Berk said...

start... left turn... left turn... left turn... left turn... left turn... left turn... left turn... left turn... left turn... *yawn*... left turn... left turn... left turn... *yaaaaaawn*... left turn... left turn... ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Oh hell no. This girl with drink (or girls with soo many drinks on friday with several other on this list that she is still somewhat hungover) will never support/watch Nascar. I fail to see how it can even be classified as a "sport" ... but that's just me... I still love MMH although she loves this big redneck fest and the Cowboys...

 
At 3:04 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I'm never going to drink that much again... Ah, that's a lie. I'll probably watch Nascar, too. Stranger things have happened and it sounds like MMH had a great time.

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger A Unique Alias said...

What the eff happened?

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger The Captain said...

Nascar sucks, and it hurts to see yet another person falling to its sinister grip.

The only NASCAR related moment I've ever had was when I was drunk at a bar in college, and decided to tell a girl I was Dale Earnhardt Jr. I went to college in S. Virginia, I figured I was playing to my audience.

She busted me by asking me who my sponsor was. I guessed Pennzoil. I still don't know if I was right because I refuse to watch.

 
At 3:28 PM, Blogger Drunken Chud said...

where did you girls go?

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

Oh my God, the Girls never made it back from the Nascar race!! I heard a terrible rumor, one of those inside the Beltway rumors, you know the kind, that start out as a little buzz and builds around town-the Girls have become Nascar groupies and given up their blog to chase Earnhardt and Gordon around, drink cheap beer out of a can, and flash drunken rednecks-(gasp), I mena, have you BEEN to a race and seen what goes on there, oh, the horrors, the drama, as if, as if, can you imagine, such well-heeled and educated and properly put together DC socialites falling for such horrible, useless (dare I call it!) enterntainment?? This is what the world has come to, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. Look for them, down in the pit with those ANIMALS....Gah!!

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger Drunken Chud said...

ack! that's horrible. but really, are there no computers in the pits? i mean, i need stories. i need drama. i NEED girls with drinks.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

DC, I'm with, oh my goodness, the horrors, the drama, the Girls have lost their way and really need some help--what are they thinking, really?

There must be computers in the pits. We BOTH need girls with drinks, and yet, the girls are drinking poor booze with some silly rednecks. Oh, the horror.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Drunken Chud said...

the humanity. dammit. now i have to get drunk and make some drama of my own. but, it never seems to compare to girls with drinks... sadly. ho hum. damn rednecks, stealing all the girls. couldn't they have left acouple of them?

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

You'd have thunk it. What's left? Right now, it's like, two drunk dudes with drinks around here. Not very appealing for drama, at all. And not nearly as attractive as girls with drinks, for sure.

 
At 2:13 AM, Blogger Drunken Chud said...

heh, two drunk dudes with drinks, yeah, it just doesn't have the allure of "girls with drinks". besides, what do two drunk dudes with have to talk about? bar fights, fat chicks, and streaking? no thanks flip, i think i'll take what's behind door number 2.

 
At 4:11 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

Hey I'm in total agreement. Two guys with drinks is just plain useless.

How the hell do you get this Door 2 open again??

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Drunken Chud said...

i wish i knew. i think it's time to go to kristens other blog and inundate her with questions till we get answers. or till she ignores us. either way, it's better than nothing.

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

Well she won't ignore us. I've been over there a few times. Post a comment.

 

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