Friday, September 30, 2005

Bachelor Blues

Time for Ask Girls with Drinks!

My little sister is getting married next weekend, and her fiancee's bachelor party is tomorrow (Saturday) night. He's a good guy, possibly too nice for her, but that's another story. He's also very mellow, so mellow that he makes buttered toast look exciting.

So his bachelor party, planned in about an hour and a half by his college-aged brother with a little help from me (making the plans and telling him what to do), the bachelor party now consists of the following events...

7pm --- dinner at nice downtown steakhouse
930pm --- drinking and video games at ESPNZone
midnight-ish or earlier --- nine guys kill themselves out of sheer boredom

As far as birthday parties go this sounds lame, let alone a bachelor party. Like, where are the hookers, drugs, and farm animals? OK maybe it doesn't have to be quite that extreme, but maybe a little bar hopping, scavenger hunt, and for chrissakes maybe a titty bar??

So my question to you as the Vice Best Man in charge of Bachelor Party is the following... do I let it ride and try to help him make the best of what may end up to be a very dull evening (which would probably suit him just fine), make him do a scavenger hunt involving items not found in ESPNZone, or do I try to mix it up a little by dragging him to somewhere like Coyote Ugly where a bunch of drunk hotties can embarass the shit out of him (general female consensus is that he's a tall looker, so he'll def get attention), then off to Camelot or Good Guys? He'll be perfectly happy with the plans as they are now, and the latter comes at the risk of hijacking the current plans and ruining what he considers to be a fun evening out.

29 Comments:

At 12:30 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

Dude... total empathy.

A good friend of mine got married this summer and we guys were totally jazzed about who he selected as best man - figuring on a wild bachelor party night... but then friend's fiancee guilt-tripped him into a "no strippers" rule and we were capital-S Screwed.

I don't even want to tell what we did.

That said, we did end up in Adams Morgan and bar hop (which, in a roundabout way led to me becoming a blogger) but I saw nary a breast all night. So sad. I'd say make sure it's something he'll enjoy - no matter what it is. As much as we like to say that the bachelor party is for the guys, not the groom, we know better.

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

So what was the dealbreaker, the strip clubs or the 1-900 numbers?




I slay me.

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

You joke spoiler you.

I can state with 100% accuracy that I have never dialed a 1-900 number.

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger John Berkoski said...

My sister can be a little uptight but as far as I know he should be able to get away with a few harmless lap dances. Problem is, I think he'd just rather sit around in a bar catching up with his friends, most of whom are coming in from out of town.

I66 - i have the feeling this BP will be like the one you described.

DW - all sounds good for me, but not my BP; dude wants steak, beer, and ESPNZone.

Kayla - most of these guys are freaked out by any part of the city; Nexxus is in SE and not a very good part at that... they'll freak

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

strip club > Medieval Times

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger MMH said...

Ummm...not going to Coyote Ugly. I like the poker tournament idea. Can I come to ESPN Zone?

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger MMH said...

Can I let you know tomorrow? As it stands right now, I can't breathe. F'ing sinus infections.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

use alcohol to sterilize the inside of the body.

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger John Berkoski said...

Didn't necessarily want party crashers; someone told me that Coyote Ugly gives free shots to chicks and that it gets pretty crazy in there after Caps games. There is a Caps game Saturday night. We will be in the neighborhood anyway. Add it up.

I'm not opposted to bar hopping but CU seemed like a good place to get things started.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger John Berkoski said...

And not that I'm opposed, but crashing the party was ESC's idea.

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

On my only foray to Coyote Ugly there was a guy with a ball and chain attached to his ankle who evidently was in mid-bachelor party mode - so it's not unheard of.

...and did somebody say lapdance?

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger John Berkoski said...

According to my sister, the bachelor spent the entire day on Sunday in the fetal position in front of the toilet. The dozen tequila shots his college buddies bought him did the trick.

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger I-66 said...

tequila? excuse me while I hurl.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger kris said...

Lap dances should be legal and straight up tequila outlawed. It seems to make more sense.

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger what about buckley said...

Color me crazy but I really think the idea of a bachelor party with strippers is retarded. I mean full-on short bus, drooling, sticker for front parking spots retarded.

Why? Here's why.

First, the premise that a man needs to celebrate his "last night of singlehood" is total bull. I am a wife and I am no ball and chain. And if I recall correctly, homey asked ME to marry HIM. Ain't no shotgun at my wedding!

Second, people generally get married because they love each other and want to be in a monogamous relationship. Where exactly do a strange woman's tits fit into a celebration of that?

Third, usually it's the groom's friends who are pushing for it. These men either married women who don't know the definition of quality, funky sex, or are simply inclined never to put out, or the guys are single and just can't get laid for one reason or another. Either way, that's THEIR problem, not my guy's problem.

Fourth, back in the day I guess a lot of women didn't do the kinkier stuff, maybe you had to go get a pro for that - that isn't the case anymore.

For the record, I have been to strip bars. I have sent my husband to strip bars with friends before if they were going. We've been married for almost nine years and I could care less if he spends half the night surfing the web for porn; I'm no stranger to it myself. But don't use your impending wedding as an excuse to be an asshole. Hang out with your friends, get hammered, catch up, whatever. But strippers for this kind of thing are archaic and stupid.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

Heidi... I believe you to be in the minority on this. Then again, I'm sure you realize this yourself with the "color me crazy" caveat - not to say that you're crazy, we're all entitled to our opinions.

I have a question, though... are you against the bachelorette party mystique as well?

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger what about buckley said...

Let me clarify that I am not against bachelor parties - I think that they are really actually important, usually because you have people coming in from all over, many of whom are old friends that you haven't seen for years, and there is no way you will have time during the wedding reception to really catch up with them. So I say a definite YES to bachelor parties as well as bachelorette parties.

It's about cameraderie and hanging out with friends, isn't it? Why do you need a strange naked woman there for that?

 
At 2:33 PM, Blogger what about buckley said...

It's not a contradiction - I don't have a problem with strip clubs. I personally don't think there is a valid correlation between a wedding and "attending* a strip club. What's contradictory about that?

As for outer reaching friends coming to your wedding, we had a lot of those - but then we had moved from Florida and Buffalo to DC, so we had people coming in from all over. As you know, since you hoofed it down (and thank you again for doing that!) to rep in FLA. ;)

 
At 2:38 PM, Blogger John Berkoski said...

Maybe I'm also in the minority but I've never been into strip bars. They are fun every once in a while if you're there for a bachelor party and your buddy gets dragged on stage and humiliated by beautiful naked women.

But I don't get the thrill of dropping a shitload of money on lap dances and overpriced beer just to go home alone and sexually frustrated. I'd rather spend the time and money taking a girl out on the town and having a chance at some action.

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger what about buckley said...

I guess it comes down to what you define as harmless. I don't take intimacy for granted like I once did, and you can think that's sappy or lame or whatever, but in my opinion it would have shown a lack of respect for me and what we were about to undertake. I have never put my foot down on him going to anyone else's bachelor party - and he's gone to plenty of them - because it's not my wedding.

I don't mean this to sound snide but I think that the basic premise here is skewed because it's entirely hypothetical. I wonder what this discussion would have looked like if a couple of you were engaged or married. Would your opinions be different? Maybe, maybe not.

BTW Dire, your third paragraph made me sing Ordinary Average Guy in my head. Thanks for that!

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger MMH said...

Berk - what have you done to our blog? Are people really having a debate/discussion about bachelor parties and strip clubs and the importance (or not) of them? WTF?? Bachelor parties and strip clubs are facts of life. As long as people get married and strippers get paid, the two are going to exist. Next topic please.

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

mmh - well said! girls with drinks is strangely quiet since Friday--for Pete's sake, pay the stripper a $20 and blog on! I mean, the Redskins won, that's worth something right? And the Fall Classic started...oh wait, this isn't a sports blog--ok, well, you've done the wrap around skirts and sundresses, what about those obscenely small shoes with the eensy teensy straps you guys are always wearing? Like, what is that called, Johnny Choo's or something like that for $400?? I mean, we all like the shoes women wear, right?

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

Hmm the shoes... I'm not big into the shoes that they wear. For one I know a bunch of women with too many shoes. I've never been able to grasp the concept and sure, shoes can be stylish but I don't put too much stock in them.

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

Rent transportation and take him to Atlantic City and gamble.

Washington Cube Was Here. #76.

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger MMH said...

I-66 and Chairborne -

I for one am a shoes whore. I can admit that. If I could buy a pair of shoes for every outfit, I would. But you won't catch me spending $400 on "Jimmy" Choos or Manolo Blahnik's (a la Sex in the City)...why do that when you can get like 10 pairs of shoes for $400!! ha ha

The Girls are strangely quiet because we don't have much to say apparently. Strange indeed. I have been sick, so that's my excuse.

And just so you know, the Redskins suck. They are the "luckiest" team in the NFL right now. Go Cowboys!!!

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

3-0 is better than 2-2.

(cough)

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger MMH said...

The only reason they are 3-0 is that the Cowboys handed them that game a couple of weeks ago and the Seahawks called some bad plays and didn't get close enough for a "gimme" field goal. Its all LUCK...not skill. We shall see how they fare in Denver this week.

 
At 2:38 PM, Blogger John Berkoski said...

Shoes can make or break a woman's look, just like mandals. same with hands, feet, hair, clothing... us guys are a picky lot. oh and you shouldn't be bitchy either. and have a strong sex drive. and having your own money is good, too. hope that's not asking too much. is it?

I'm ambivilent on the Redsskins. Dallas and their fans can choke. GO STEELERS!!!!!

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

YEAH, that's what I'm talking about-GO STEELERS!

 

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