You Might Be a Redneck If.....

You go to your first NASCAR race and absolutely love it! Yes folks, I just got back from Charlotte where I attended the UAW-GM Quality 500. I am out of the closet...I love the NASCAR. Picture this:

• Packing enough food and beer to fill 4, yes 4 SUVs.
• Partying with people you've never met, but who you now share a bond with
• Drinking more Jell-O Shots in one day than you have EVER had before....and living to tell about it (we started out with 250, of which I think I drank at least 20....OUCH)

This was my first NASCAR experience. We aimed to leave the house at 1:30, which ended up being about 3:00 (and Elaine and Jacquie weren't even there)! We were moving along but got stuck in race traffic and were barely moving. One of our crew jumps out of SUV #2 to hit the woods to relieve himself. Needless to say, this is the precise moment that traffic starts moving...and moving quickly. This poor boy, decked out in VA Tech gear (guess he thought they were playing in Charlotte this weekend) ends up running about 1.5 miles in flip flops to catch up to us. Sucked to be him.

We parked the cars, set up the table, the canopy the food and let's not forget the Jell-O. Lord have mercy.

After tailgating for a bit, we load up smaller coolers and head to the track. How awesome is NASCAR? You can take your coolers full of beer, food and Jell-O shots inside. (The NFL should take a lesson from this.) We find our seats and plant ourselves. Now let me just talk about the seating arrangements for a second. You know how baseball and football stadiums are a little roomy and you're not really sitting on top of the person beside you? No such luck here. We were packed tighter than a can of sardines. To top it off, I was sitting between two not so small men. oy. If you've ever been to a Penn State game, I can liken it to Beaver Stadium, only worse. Its THAT bad. Needless to say, the beer was flowing and the shots were constantly handed out (if I had to hear, "hey rookie, what color do you want?" one more time.....)

I definitely fit right in as I was sporting the red and black of my favorite driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. True to this season, he wrecked quite early (still lasted longer than Jeff Gordon). After Jr blew out his tire, I decided to cheer on VA Boy and driver of the M&M car, Elliott Sadler...who wrecked...then it was Tony Stewart...who wrecked, followed by Kasey Kahne, who wrecked (are you getting the picture here?) If I had been anywhere close to sober and picked up on the pattern, I would have started cheering for Jimmie Johnson who I am NOT a fan of, but eventually won. ugh.

All in all, I had a great time. Even met up with my new boy which was awesome. Nothing like having your first kiss at Lowe's Motor Speedway. Now there's a story for the grandkids. Damn alcohol.

I'd highly recommend going to a race...even if you don't like it, the party is definitely worth it!

Vicky's Gotta Secret

Good morning! I'm not going to take up much time, but had to write about something I saw last night. I went to the "new" Tysons Corner mall to see a movie with some friends. (Proof = decent movie. Jake Gyllenhall = YUMMY.) The mall is friggin huge. As if it wasn't big enough before, they've added three floors a food court, a couple of restaurants, etc. HUGE.

The point of this is, I went to Victoria's Secret. You know the one that's been on the news because of the stripper like poses and attire of the mannequins? While I admit, its not your mama's Victoria's Secret, I was not offended by the displays. Hell, Bray wanted me to take his picture by one of them. ha ha I did kind of feel like I was walking into a strip club...low lighting, loud music, etc.

So yeah the mannequins are no big deal however, this new store now has an "adult section". Its a small room separated from the rest of the store with black curtains. Kind of like the little rooms they used to have in video stores where you had to be 18 to enter? (Yeah I'm old, I remember this shit.) Anyway, I had to check it out. The lingerie in this particular section rivals that of Fredericks of Hollywood. No crotchless panties mind you, or at least I didn't see any, but damn. The one item that caught my eye was the pearl thong. Now tell me Girls With Drinks and Berk, why in God's name would I want a string of pearls (fake ones at that) up my ass? I am a dedicated thong wearer, but pearls?? Haven't they seen the Sex in the City episode where Samantha wore them? One word...OUCH. (okay, okay so she did walk up about 40 flights of stairs, but still.)

Just had to share.

The Sounds of Silence....

Its seems the GWD have gone underground. No one is talking...I know, I know, girls not talking....who'd a thunk it? That is why I've decided to say something.

Something.

ha ha Just kidding. I don't have a lot to say either, but I did go to dinner last night with some friends at this cute little restaurant in Del Ray called "Fireflies"...check it out. The hummus is fabulous!

I also just ate so much at lunch, I think I'm going to die. It was 'just' a salad, and a really BAD salad at that. Since I didn't finish it, I figured a milkshake would make me feel better. WRONG. I feel like a big bucket of poo right now. Damn the milkshake from Maggie Moos.

So, let's see...what's going on in the near future that should give me some good blogging info? There's the movie tonight with the MSTR girls, date tomorrow night with random birthday party dude (yes, I have a date, mark your calendars...and pray for good shoes), and then a big vacant spot called the weekend. I'm supposed to go to the Navy/Air Force game on Saturday to tailgate with a bunch o' Marines so you know THAT will give me some good material. If the rains come, the tailgate won't be happenin, at least for me, and y'all will have to wait until I get back from attending my very first NASCAR race next weekend. You KNOW there'll be good stories out of that trip! (We're driving down to Charlotte so that alone will make for good blogging material.)

Until then fair bloggers....I dare you all to write something to entertain us. (Kayla, tell us about your date(s). Although there's nothing wrong with this guy, so probably not much to write. ha ha)

Peace and hockey grease (that was for Berk who is probably so happy that hockey season starts tonight he's about to pee his pants),

M